Posted by: thebellalife | August 12, 2009

Story of a Jusitified Housewife

I will be posting the last part of my Saga tomorrow. (Do you like how I use the word SAGA? I do it because it sounds cool.) I want to give you a heads up and let you know it’s going be a LONG Part 4. I don’t want to write 7 posts about my story…. although…. I am probably just narcissistic enough to do it. There are just so many moments to record, and write down for future generations. Before tomorrow happens, I just want to write about a couple of incidents that have happened to me over the last couple of days.

Incident 1. { Brother vs. Sister}

So being the thoughtful person I am, I called my brother yesterday. (I am phone-phobic, so this is a big deal) We were chatting away like the best of friends, when out of the clear blue sky he asks me seriously, “So how long are you going to play the sick card? It’s been over a week.”  Ummmm. GASP. I didn’t know what to say to that. Heavens, I had just told him that I was leaving work. I hadn’t even mentioned my health! (Well I am 80% sure I didn’t. I can never remember.)

After a few seconds of shock, I replied by practically barfing, ” I don’t really use the sick card. I just left work… remember? { voice raised an octave} People who are sick don’t go to work…. Yes, I didn’t make it to Dads house last night because I was stupid and started moving some heavy things at work so I didn’t feel well.{Gulp for air} I wasn’t on my deathbed. I am not even taking my prescription drugs. I am not like SICK, sick, but I’m not 100% either.” 

As you can see I was shaken to the core! I was throwing out everything I could to prove I wasn’t using what “happened” as a crutch. All those words of defense couldn’t prevent the feelings of doubt I started having. Was I using the sick card? As I sat there in silence trying to recall if I had been doing this, my brother said something even more shocking! ” I know a girl who had the EXACT thing happen to her, a day after you, and she was back to work 3 days later. She is perfectly fine now.”  What?!?! Someone went through the hell I went through and was back to living life 3 days later? I was overcome with humiliation and I said the only thing I could think of saying… ” Well John, I guess I just suck at life.”

Our conversation ended.  As I drove the last few miles home, I tried to think positive. I was convincing myself that “said girl” had superpowers and was NOT normal. As I sat there, lifting my spirits, the phone rang. GUESS WHO? My doctor/surgeon’s office . I answered hurriedly. 

As I scheduled my followup appointment, I couldn’t refrain myself. I needed reassurance that I didn’t suck at life. I told my doctor’s assistant all about the previous conversation with my brother and his story about “said girl” and her magical healing powers. I asked if I was being mental. Then, the beautiful assistant reassured me with some wonderful news. She confirmed that I was normal and I shouldn’t do ANYTHING physical until I had my follow-up appt. She also said that “said Freaky girl” was lucky she felt “perfectly fine” but, that’s not how it always goes. I took a deep breath, said my thanks, and smiled with smug satisfaction. I felt justified.

Dear Brother, I do not suck at life. I take it back. Please let your friend know that she is not normal and I am. Talk to you soon.

xoxo Ky

 

This is probably what the girl looks like...

 

Incident 2:

My husband during this whole mess has been the most amazing thing. I don’t want to do that  blogging thing girls do and write a novel about my husband’s attributes and heroic deeds, but that had to be said. He’s been so great, in fact, that I can’t help but obsessively tell him how wonderful he is. I want to wrap him up in a blanket, rock him back and forth, and sing a sonnet about what he means to me. It is creepy with a capitol WEIRD. When you have an expierence were you really thought you could be dying, you start seeing life in a different light. (At least for a couple of weeks.) So, as of now, I drool after and gaze at my husband in adoration.

With this said…I’ll move on.

A couple days ago he started saying and doing something that I pretend makes me upset.  But, in reality, I can’t help but laugh when he walks away.

You see, I was standing in our kitchen when Michael requested I do some type of housework. I can’t remember exactly what it was… I think laundry, or picking up my water bottles. Anyways he asked me to do ________ and followed the statement by looking me in the eyes and saying (dead serious), ” If you don’t…. I will punch you in the stomach”. Then, immediately followed that statement by pulling his arm back and throwing his fist towards my stomach as if he would hit it. He threatens me all the time with this. It. Is. So. Funny. I’m still in such a state of euphoric love, so I think him pretending to beat me is just precious.

Dear Michael, if you ever punch me in the stomach, I will knife you while you sleep. Also, I want you to know that even if you looked like this I would still want to sing you sonnets.

xoxo Keighley

Little Onionhead Print

Love you Mr. Onion.

 

Images via google and insideablackapple.typepad.com

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Responses

  1. I’m sorry Johnny was so insensitive. Men don’t get it, at all!

  2. No he was totally fine! It was just funny how I freaked out. He can’t relate to the pain I went through… he couldn’t handle it.

    ky


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