Posted by: thebellalife | July 17, 2009

Corporate Memoirs


Let's travel back to Q2 of 2008 (Q2=corporate talk). . . .
It was a bright, sunny, June morning as I walked into the large glass doors of "The-Large-Corporation-I-Work-For-That-Will-Not-Be-Named" for the first time (you know how I fear the dark cloud looming above human resources). 


I vividly remember what I was wearing that day: black slacks {check}, silky black blouse {check}, black open toed high-heels {check}.  It may sound like I was dressed to go to a funeral but, I promise, I looked super chic (or at least felt that way). 
There I was, prior receptionist for daddy's small company, starting out on my quest to rule Corporate America (My Goal=CEO). 
Unbeknown to me, prior to my arrival, my future employees had already deemed me as THE MORMON.  None of my employees had ever worked with (whispering) A MORMON.  Therefore, they expected me to show up to work looking something like this:


Little did they know….my first impression was going to go a little something like this:



For the first couple of weeks, my co-workers walked around on tiptoes.  Studying my moves as if I was some rare specimen out in the wild.

(Cue Steve Irwin voices) 
Employee A: 'Ere she is…isn't she a beauty?
Employee B: Oh….Yes….Yes….
Employee A: If we approach her slowly, we may be able to watch her taking a swig of that there water.
Employee B: Notice how her right hand gently grasps the water bottle and brings it up towards her mouth.
Anyways….I think you get my point….
As the months flew by, my co-workers started to warm up to me.  Now they realize I'm probably the worst exemplar of a mormon since I drink caffeine (at least it's diet), occasionally check Perez Hilton (because of my upbringing – thanks Debs!), love the gays (gasp), watch family guy (what can I say…Seth Macfarlane is a genius), enjoy Adam Carolla's podcasts….well….you get the point.  I'm just like everybody else (everybody else=human). 
Since you have a little background information about my life in corporate america join me next week, meet my cast (AKA: co-workers), learn the ins and outs that go in to working for "the man" and live your life vicariously through me (if you wish).
Have a wonderful weekend!


  1. Love this post – I wish I could say I recall the day you started but we weren’t really friends then. I will say that you were probably more a mix between the mormon pic and the sandra one…jk. You always dress to impress and that’s why we are friends.
    – co-worker of the blogpost author & employee of the “Corporation-that-Shall-Not-Be-Named” – this sounds so Harry Potterish btw…

  2. hahahahahahha Cam that was BRILLZ! I am dying. Not only are you funny, you are my inspiration. I want to dress in black and take over the corporate world. When you become CEO will you hire me??? I work well with family.

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